My first encounter with fibro and the difficulty of wedding planning occurred during my very first fitting for wedding dresses.
In the past, as an amateur actor, I have worn many a huge dress to represent times past and I loved them all. I know that in my younger, more dramatic years, I dreamed of wearing a wedding dress with hoop skirts, crinolines and the like. A dress with glorious meter after meter of luxurious fabric and embellished to the nines with beaded details. In those pre-fibro days, I wouldn't have given a second thought to the weight of the dress. Much like those gypsy brides, the more layers the better.
Fibro puts newfound restrictions on finding "the one" (the guy too, but that's a story for another day). There are many beautiful ball gown wedding dresses out there, but even if they did suit my figure, they don't suit my muscles. I tried an A-line dress that actually had crinolines and under-layers.... I could barely lift it over my head - the dress must have weighed at least 20 pounds! So obviously the simpler the better.
Trains hadn't even entered my head originally. The reality of yards and yards of fabric pulling on my shoulders all through my wedding day was, silly enough, a problem that hadn't even occurred to me. Now granted with my butt, I really didn't want a big bustle on the back of my dress to emphasize that already ample area, but I hadn't thought about the pain logistics of the train.
So with each dress store I entered, my requirements got more specific. No train, no layers, no ball gown.... The dresses I got shown were too basic. Destination gowns with little detail. So hard to find the dress of my dreams. So in the end I guess I compromised ... but that seems to be the lifelong story of one with fibro.
Monday 7 May 2012
Immunity catch-all
I don't know if anyone else with FM or other chronic pain conditions has experienced this, or if there is a medical explanation. (At this point, I haven't found one.)
I understand that when a person or a body is under stress it is more susceptible to infection; however, there seems to be a collapse in my immune system with the onset of my period. Nine times out of ten, when I catch a cold or flu, it coincides with my menstral cycle. Why is that?
Last night, I barely slept at all. I had a very sudden onset of a cold; my coughing would wake me up. Also, choking on my own nasal mucous caused me to sit upright in the dark. Not pleasant at all.
Sometimes I wonder with the fibro immuno supression why I chose to go into teaching. It is hard to stay healthy when you are surrounded by sick students who come to school because their parents won't let them stay home or ailing colleagues who pride themselves on never taking sick days, meanwhile they bring their germs to work for the rest of us to catch. The only work environments that would be worse would be day-care or hospitals.
Some of you might say, whine whine, it's only a cold! With fibro, there is no such thing as "only" a cold, flu etc. Every illness gets amplified by the fibro. The body pain, the interupted or non-restful sleep... it's a viscious cycle already but add to that an illness and everything gets ramped up big time!
Many people liken fibro pain to the weakness and aches caused by flu. That's an understatement! For some though, that is the only comparison that they can possibly understand. With a cold, I get sinus headaches which frequently blossom into migraines, body aches and chills plus all over body pain that is much worse than on a regular, non-sick day.
Sniff, sniff! I just want to go home, crawl under my covers, and sleep until this cold is gone.
I understand that when a person or a body is under stress it is more susceptible to infection; however, there seems to be a collapse in my immune system with the onset of my period. Nine times out of ten, when I catch a cold or flu, it coincides with my menstral cycle. Why is that?
Last night, I barely slept at all. I had a very sudden onset of a cold; my coughing would wake me up. Also, choking on my own nasal mucous caused me to sit upright in the dark. Not pleasant at all.
Sometimes I wonder with the fibro immuno supression why I chose to go into teaching. It is hard to stay healthy when you are surrounded by sick students who come to school because their parents won't let them stay home or ailing colleagues who pride themselves on never taking sick days, meanwhile they bring their germs to work for the rest of us to catch. The only work environments that would be worse would be day-care or hospitals.
Some of you might say, whine whine, it's only a cold! With fibro, there is no such thing as "only" a cold, flu etc. Every illness gets amplified by the fibro. The body pain, the interupted or non-restful sleep... it's a viscious cycle already but add to that an illness and everything gets ramped up big time!
Many people liken fibro pain to the weakness and aches caused by flu. That's an understatement! For some though, that is the only comparison that they can possibly understand. With a cold, I get sinus headaches which frequently blossom into migraines, body aches and chills plus all over body pain that is much worse than on a regular, non-sick day.
Sniff, sniff! I just want to go home, crawl under my covers, and sleep until this cold is gone.
Friday 4 May 2012
More wedding flower issues
I met with another florist the other day.... she made a good point that I hadn't even thought of - a cascade bouquet needs to be carried fairly low. This means that my arms would be fully extended. So, not only would the overall weight and the pull towards the front be issues, so too would the position of the bouquet. In addition to the pain that this would cause, having my arms fully extended and locked in this position for a considerable amount of time would result in extreme pain or discomfort. Fibro does not deal well with static, long-held positions, especially not ones where limbs are extended away from the body.
So this resulted in yet another compromise for the wedding.... a hand-tied bouquet.
The comfort though is knowing that my pain will be lessened and the flowers will still be beautiful, even if they aren't in the form I originally envisioned.
So this resulted in yet another compromise for the wedding.... a hand-tied bouquet.
The comfort though is knowing that my pain will be lessened and the flowers will still be beautiful, even if they aren't in the form I originally envisioned.
Wednesday 2 May 2012
Human barometer
Chronic pain = human barometer.
It's funny how before the FM, weather merely meant an inconvenience to my day or an opportunity to get out and be active. Now, the weather shifts and so does my entire body.
The last few days have been brutal! Saturday evening, Sunday and finally culminating on Monday, my head, limbs, back, neck, shoulders, face, ears, feet and even my toes felt the impact of Mother Nature's inconsistency. In spite of this all-over pain, it was the head pain that really incapacitated me. It's always the head that is the worst. Honestly, I could handle the other pain, but it is really hard to think, speak and function when your head feels like a giant alien creature is trying to make it's way out from behind the eyes, through the neck and out the ears.
Head pain cripples thought and impacts speech. As an educated, fairly intelligent individual, I pride myself on speaking articulately and writing comprehensively. It was truly quite embarrassing when I found myself misspelling prove (I spelt it proove), not once, but twice, on a note for my students to copy down. Worse still, when a student challenged me on it in a very disrespectful manner, the pain made it difficult for me to "bite my tongue" and not lose my temper.
Previous pain fog occurrences have been equally embarrassing, as well as challenging to my authority and credibility as a teacher. Forgetting student's names. Names that I had known for months. Unable to locate commonly used vocabulary in the deep, traumatised centres of my brain. Yet, I am supposed to be the educated one?!?!?
The weather of the past couple of years has really made having chronic pain a challenge. Steadfastness of pressure and precipitation ensures some stability in the levels of pain. Changes from one day to the next, from one extreme to the other - this is Mother Nature's way of kicking us all when we are already down, making it much harder to get back up again.
Rain, rain go away.... don't come back again any day!
It's funny how before the FM, weather merely meant an inconvenience to my day or an opportunity to get out and be active. Now, the weather shifts and so does my entire body.
The last few days have been brutal! Saturday evening, Sunday and finally culminating on Monday, my head, limbs, back, neck, shoulders, face, ears, feet and even my toes felt the impact of Mother Nature's inconsistency. In spite of this all-over pain, it was the head pain that really incapacitated me. It's always the head that is the worst. Honestly, I could handle the other pain, but it is really hard to think, speak and function when your head feels like a giant alien creature is trying to make it's way out from behind the eyes, through the neck and out the ears.
Head pain cripples thought and impacts speech. As an educated, fairly intelligent individual, I pride myself on speaking articulately and writing comprehensively. It was truly quite embarrassing when I found myself misspelling prove (I spelt it proove), not once, but twice, on a note for my students to copy down. Worse still, when a student challenged me on it in a very disrespectful manner, the pain made it difficult for me to "bite my tongue" and not lose my temper.
Previous pain fog occurrences have been equally embarrassing, as well as challenging to my authority and credibility as a teacher. Forgetting student's names. Names that I had known for months. Unable to locate commonly used vocabulary in the deep, traumatised centres of my brain. Yet, I am supposed to be the educated one?!?!?
The weather of the past couple of years has really made having chronic pain a challenge. Steadfastness of pressure and precipitation ensures some stability in the levels of pain. Changes from one day to the next, from one extreme to the other - this is Mother Nature's way of kicking us all when we are already down, making it much harder to get back up again.
Rain, rain go away.... don't come back again any day!
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